Microsoft To Buy McDonalds and Taco Bell

January 4th, 2006 | by Mike |

Deciding it wasn’t enough to just make computers bad with their cumbersome OS and Office products, Microsoft is in talks to buy both McDonald’s and Taco Bell in order to also be responsible for making our meals bad as well. An anonymous source familiar with the nearly finalized proceedings, stated “We at Microsoft know that people run out of the office at lunch to take a break from their Windows computers, and if we can figure out a way to get into the lunch game and somehow ruin the one break these people have, we would make every effort to do that.” When asked about the rumored “Google PC” sporting a possible new OS, directly from Google, the source merely scoffed at the notion. “Most people don’t need another PC, but they do need to eat, everyday, without fail. Our approach is flawless: Get them where they eat. We can do anything, put advertisements on the buns or taco shells, whatever we want. People can switch to Mac or Linux at the drop of a hat if they want, but the fat-asses in this country will never stop coming to McDonald’s or Taco Bell. Never.” Before walking away, the source interjected “Plus, lets see those dumb-ass rumor-mongering tech blog writers see this shit coming!”

Check that out: I can make up rumors too! It doesn’t take an “A-List” blogger to post wild rumors, we here at Hell Yeah Bitch! .com can do that just as well as the big boys. Seriously, one look at and you think all the tech business leaders hung out all Christmas break smoking weed and eating Cheetos thinking up crazy deals. It can’t be all true. It just can’t. Lets just all remember that when we check out the news around the “blogosphere” in the next couple of weeks.

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