There’s No Way I’m Going To Write About Boot Camp

April 5th, 2006 | by Mike |

So I’m minding my own bussiness today and all suddenly I hear a pounding at my door. It kinda sounds like a hard knocking, but not too hard…I think it was meant to be pounding though. I open the door and I see three nerdy looking guys standing outside covered in sweat.
“Whats going on?” I try to ask, but I’m cut-off by the nerdiest of the three.
“Were you asleep?!!!” the little nerd in the back drops and passes out from exhaustion, ” We’ve been trying to knock down your door for like 15 minutes out here. Do you have one of those fire-proof metal doors or something?”
“No, I think its kind of a plywood, cheap hollow door…”
“Shut up!”, the nerdy one retorts as he begins to catch his breath, “The reason we are here is because we know you have a website…”
“Yeah, Hell Yeah Bitch! .com.”
“…and its 1:00 in the afternoon and you haven’t written anything about how Apple released Boot Camp today! What the hell man!? When Apple releases something, especially as unexpected as this, you are supposed to drop everything and write a long comment on it basically saying what everyone else is.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” I lie…I totally know, I was just trying to get away from endless Apple posts. I had no idea the Nerd Police knew where I lived or worked. “What is everyone else saying?” I continue.
“What?! They are saying that this is a throw down move by Apple. They are saying that this is HUGE! By our records, you own two Apple computers, you should be screaming about this all day on your site like everyone else!”
“Sorry guys, I just don’t see the big deal. Its just a way to dual boot Windows on your Intel Mac. After everyone installs it and boots into Windows they will stare at it and realize that Windows sucks and wonder why they took 20 gigs of HD space for this useless experiment. I’m not going to take up space on my site for that. Thats space that could be used by a picture of Kate Beckinsale.”
“What?! A picture of Kate Beckinsale? You aren’t even doing that anymore, you are just using her as a title and posting pictures of other chicks! Its freaking stupid!”
“Ok…Well I know that. I’ll work Kate back in eventually…”
“You write a blog! You have to write about this! Everyone is! In fact, they already have!”
“I know my site is technically a ‘blog’, but I really hate calling it that…it seems so trendy, like its a big fad..”
“Sweet Captain Picard shut up and go write!”
“Look, I’m not writing about Boot Camp. Its just something to preoccupy the world for a day or two and then it will settle to the background where a few college’s will use it regularly and nothing more. In fact, if you buy a Mac to run Windows on it, then you really didn’t need or want the Mac to begin with. You are just buying it to be cool and not getting any of the benefits of it…its like buy a Livestrong bracelet for the fashion…lame. See you later Nerds.”
“We aren’t done yet Flynn!”
“Hey, I think I hear people playing Ultimate Frisbee in Forrest Park..”
“Whoa, really? Lets go boys!” and the Nerd Police hopped in their Mini Cooper and took off.
Stupid Nerd Police, trying to make me write about Base Camp just because everyone else is. Screw that. I have better things to do. Now, time to go check my Double Matches on HotorNot.com!

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