Hell Yeah Bitch! .com

I don’t know about the rest of the world, but St. Louis seems to have a serious problem with way too many regular Joe’s going out for a bike ride while dressing up in a full-on Lance Armstrong costume. (For clarification, I say “costume” because it looks stupid and out of place, like all costumes do.) You want to go out for a bike ride on a nice day in the city? You go right ahead. However, unless you are actually racing someone there is no need to wrap yourself in a thin layer of yellow stretch fabric when you go biking. None. No reasons at all. Lets call this what it is: Pretending. Its cool, I used to play superheros all the time when I was little. I would go get a cape and “fly” around the house. It was a good time, and we all did it. However, these guys are in, at least, their 30s now, and they are still pretending…but now they are pretending to be something, that for some reason is more sociably acceptable in today’s world. They are a grown man, pretending to be Lance Armstrong. Its one thing to wear the sweat band on your arms and go the whole nine yards with your company’s softball team uniforms. That too, can go too far, but its not all that bad and I’ll admit can be fun at times. The line needs to be drawn at biking and pretending to be Lance Armstrong though. The reason is the sweatbands and high socks aren’t hurting people when they look at you, but squeezing into a tight yellow shirt and your package shoved into even tighter black biker shorts is totally uncool. I don’t care how good you think you look, you don’t look that good. Don’t worry though, no one looks that good. Yes, there are reasons to wear it and I’ll agree that it can help your speed ever so slightly, but that only matters while racing, not while riding through Forest Park on a Sunday.

What the hell is so wrong with a regular t-shirt and shorts anyway?