Hell Yeah Bitch! .com

Pretend for a moment that you are a creepy guy that likes looking on the web for porn…I know its a stretch, but just try to play along for a moment. So say your that guy, and you go to check out former (?) pornstar Kendra Jade’s website looking for a few choice photos or at least a “demo” photo where the good stuff is blurred to get you to pay $33.99 a month to see the full picture and have some lame ass chat with her once a month which you can totally tell its probably her assistant chatting and not her. (I’m just guessing here…mom. Seriously.) So you hop on over to Kendra Jade Online and you see a few crappy pics…not bad…then you run into her poetry:

The View From Here

I have been having conversations with myself again.
Wrestling with ego and pride .Fumbling with deliberate words and illogical reason.
But words are my weapon of choice and I don’t give them to you freely.
I fornicate with them for hours before I offer them up to you as servants.
These are wars that I wage on myself.

You see , my heart is a whore , and my soul is a sinner.
My mind is a labrynthe of compassion and angst and
My body ; purgatory for all that may enter .
I’d pick you apart but aren’t angels and devils all the same?
You see, there is no contempt on my mouth
but I speak in tongues so how would you decipher?

Here , chew on this.
…

Your sexy feelings go away like your mom just walked in on you and you suddenly realize you are reading poetry with your manhood in your hand. How is a guy like you not snapped up yet?

Look Kendra, its great you are trying to be more than a porn star. Your poetry sucks, but seriously, good for you. However, like most hot girls you can clearly missed the entire point men find you interesting enough to go to your website and here’s a hint: It isn’t your personality or your poetry. Did you think that maybe its because you are hot and happen to hump for a living!? Nah, gotta be the poetry. The fact is dudes didn’t come to your site to learn about the “real you” they came to see you naked and find out what strip club you are going to be at this weekend. Thats all. If you want to release poetry and talk about your life then maybe you should do it on a website with your real name, not your pornstar name. This goes for all hot, non-pornstar chicks as well! Guys didn’t come over to study with you to talk about your hamster and get help in a class you have a D in…they came to hang out with you, stare at you and are hoping that just by proximity, they might be the lucky one to get laid.

Hot chicks can be so diluted.

via A Blog Soup