Its pretty much common knowledge that Paris Hilton has been living her life on the wrong side of retarded for pretty much forever. I guess there is some slim chance that she was a smart baby and something fell on her or maybe she was even a smart pre-teen and then the syphilis she contracted from that first roll with the gardener has been eating at her brain ever since, but no matter the roots we all are pretty sure she couldn’t even beat Corky from “Life Goes On” in a Celebrity Jeopardy match. …But maybe we are wrong. I still think Paris is retarded, but maybe not quite as retarded as I once thought. For example: Check out the picture above from a few days ago during one of the many recent goings on of the new BFFs Paris and Britney. As I glanced at these pictures over the weekend I noticed something I didn’t usually see when looking at a picture of Paris. I didn’t feel revolted. In fact she doesn’t look that bad at all here. So what the hell happened? I’ll tell you what happened, Britney’s fat, white trash ass is standing next to her. It all makes sense now, Britney has been recruited as Paris’ fat friend like all the chicks that wanted to be hot had in High School and College. Everyone looks better next to a fat friend. Its the perfect accessory, you hang out with Britney, people are less repulsed by you and when they ask you why you are hanging out with Britney you just say something to the effect you are feeling sorry for her and you come out of it like a nice, better looking person.

I guess I could be giving Paris too much credit in all of this. This fiendish scheme could be the work of Paris’ creepy PR guy who looks disturbingly like the Emperor from Star Wars in a suit.

More photo proof of the plan in action after the jump.