Paris Hilton is Smarter Than We Thought
Its pretty much common knowledge that Paris Hilton has been living her life on the wrong side of retarded for pretty much forever. I guess there is some slim chance that she was a smart baby and something fell on her or maybe she was even a smart pre-teen and then the syphilis she contracted from that first roll with the gardener has been eating at her brain ever since, but no matter the roots we all are pretty sure she couldn’t even beat Corky from “Life Goes On” in a Celebrity Jeopardy match. …But maybe we are wrong. I still think Paris is retarded, but maybe not quite as retarded as I once thought. For example: Check out the picture above from a few days ago during one of the many recent goings on of the new BFFs Paris and Britney. As I glanced at these pictures over the weekend I noticed something I didn’t usually see when looking at a picture of Paris. I didn’t feel revolted. In fact she doesn’t look that bad at all here. So what the hell happened? I’ll tell you what happened, Britney’s fat, white trash ass is standing next to her. It all makes sense now, Britney has been recruited as Paris’ fat friend like all the chicks that wanted to be hot had in High School and College. Everyone looks better next to a fat friend. Its the perfect accessory, you hang out with Britney, people are less repulsed by you and when they ask you why you are hanging out with Britney you just say something to the effect you are feeling sorry for her and you come out of it like a nice, better looking person.
I guess I could be giving Paris too much credit in all of this. This fiendish scheme could be the work of Paris’ creepy PR guy who looks disturbingly like the Emperor from Star Wars in a suit.
More photo proof of the plan in action after the jump.
Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #41
Online gossip queen Perez Hilton is being dragged into the courtroom for using copyrighted pictures owned by some of the largest paparazzi agencies in the US. I have zero doubt that he will either pay them a ass-load of money in a settlement or he will pay two ass-loads in court because he will lose this case. The proof is pretty astounding and all over his website. You know, those pictures with the stupid drawings of dicks and the words “slut”? How do you come up with gold like that? He must have a team of 13 year old boys working day and night to dream up amazing comedy like that. Seriously though, the real irony of the stupid drawings is that he started doing that because people were stealing his images…and by his I mean the copyrighted images that he never owned in the first place.
I used to read Perez regularly. In fact he made frequent visits here and left a few comments, but I really think he started to suck when he became BFF’s with Paris Hilton. Now all he does is basically run her guerrilla PR campaign by slamming the people she hates and telling stories about how wonderful she is. I’m not usually one to slam a guy for taking on an impossible job, but he must be retarded. I just picture him at some club telling Paris how great she is while holding her hair as she pukes on stage between her “songs”. You not only sold your soul to the devil, but you’re also holding her hair…a small price to pay for fame right?
To sum up: Perez Hilton is getting sued. He’s become the douchey lapdog of Paris Hilton, and he’s not funny. Everyone knows the secret to being funny is spit takes…and something tells me Perez rarely, if ever, spits.
Now take a look at some of these fine copyrighted images of Brooke Burke:
If you promise not to sue me, there are two more copyrighted images of Ms Burke after the jump.