Mike Actually Wants Something Microsoft Makes: Deepfish
This sounds weird to say and probably to read, especially coming from this site, but I really want a new beta Microsoft product. Granted, you can temper my “crazy” statement by saying: “I want it because it makes my Windows Mobile phone work a little more like the iPhone” …it still feels weird to say I want a new Microsoft product though.
Deepfish is a lightweight client application that leverages a powerful server side technology for delivery of content such as web pages to a Windows Mobile device. Content is displayed in a familiar desktop format that requires no additional work by the content or site author.
Deepfish provides:
* A familiar look and feel of web pages on mobile as seen on desktop.
* Bandwidth optimized rendering for faster content delivery.
* Address bar web navigation.
* Intuitive zooming, panning and cue map for quick navigation and browsing.
* Support for simple link navigation and form submission.
It works just like Steve’s (we’re close, so I don’t use last names) demo of the iPhone’s browser worked: It shows a small version and then with clicks you can drill down to the areas you want. No more funky formating of web pages just for us mobile-junkies.
I’ve signed up for the beta, and now I wait. Unless one of you sexy readers has it and wants to give it to me…no? I thought you were cool! You’ve changed man…you’ve changed.
Damn it. I was playing around on the links from Scoble’s Twitter page and I accidentally clicked on the “Add Me” link to ask Kevin Rose to “be my Twitter friend”. I like Kevin Rose, he seems cool, and apparently everyone calls us twins, but I didn’t want to try and be so douchey and think that he would add me as a friend on Twitter out of the, I’m assuming, thousands of turd fanboys that try to add him all the time.
You seem cool Kevin, and apparently we may be doubles, but I’m not a fanboy. I miss-clicked. Feel free to toss that aside like I’m sure you already have…just don’t think of me as another douchey psycho digg-machine man-fan.
justin.tv is the ultimate reality show. Justin has a camera mounted on his head and he is piping live video to the web 24/7. Pretty cool. Two things though: 1. I wish they would have some info on how they set this up. Its an interesting setup and I would love a peek on how they did it. 2. This is a computer geek we are talking about. How will the viewers handle the awkwardness of him “waxing his wifi antenna” so to speak the usual amount of 5-10 times a day? Maybe some type of warning system should be put in to place?
Either way, its interesting especially for you people that are really into reality shows…or watching dudes whack it in the first person.
Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #57: Rose McGowan
Damn Rose McGowan is hot. Yeah yeah, I know what you are saying: “Dude, Marilyn Manson hit that.” So what? You telling me if she was coming on strong you would push her away because a dude that wears makeup on stage and a fake pair of tits hit it? You and I both know you wouldn’t. Guys always talk a big game about their sexual morals when its just the guys but we all know that if no one was looking we would hump just about anything that weighed less than 300 lbs and didn’t remind us of our mother. For instance I banged the hell out of Rose McGowan all night not long ago and I didn’t think about Marilyn Manson once.
…Now just replace “banged the hell out of” with “fell asleep holding a picture of”, and “once” with “seven”.
One picture here, Two more after the jump!
Sexy Update: I added another picture after the jump. Lets just say nipples are involved…
Is it cool to fight a wheelchair jockey?
My initial thought on this one is a “yes”.
Sure the common thought is that no you can’t walk up and punch a handicapped person in the throat, but I’m not sure thats the answer anyone really wants when you get right down to it. I present to you my argument in the following paragraphs, afterwards feel free to put a pencil in your mouth and type out a hate comment on the keyboard your nurse set in front of your chest.
1. What if the handicapped person is an asshole?
Without a doubt! Ok, picture a guy that is totally and completely an asshole. This guy eats your fries at lunch, he does that thing where he takes his finger and flicks the bill of your hat and flips it off your head and he even does that thing where he looks at you and lunges forward while stopping on the floor. He’s a dick. That dude totally deserves to get his ass handed to him on a plate right? Ok, now imagine instead of that stopping thing he wheels over your feet and instead of flicking your hat off your head he rolls into the bathroom looking for that nice handicap stall right after he knows you just went in there to use it thus pressuring you to rush yourself and then everyone in the office thinks you are a jerk for using it even though they all use it too. Screw that bastard. He deserves to be picked up and strapped to a chair with no wheels for a while. That’ll teach that little bastard won’t it. Lets see him roll over people’s feet sitting on one of those straight back chairs from the lobby!
Handicapped or not, it doesn’t change the fact that assholes deserve to be treated like crap, it only affects the way you punish them.
2. What if the handicapped person is really really really annoying?
Let me throw something back at you: Would you fight a well-bodied guy that was being really annoying? If you can honestly answer yes to that question, then I say go a head and crack that handicapper over the head with a flower vase. Again, its all about being fair. If you are the kind of guy that will stick a guy because he is going on and on about his family’s nicknames for each other when you are trying to work, then go ahead and stick the hobbled version of the same guy.
Incidentally, the vase is a nice touch because it will do the job and when it breaks and the water and flowers come out it will provide a little comedy as well.
3. Ok, so you decided to fight him or her…is it fair to throw a punch?
Totally. Its a fight and it already gotten this far, so trust me, they aren’t worried about tossing appendages at you. Maybe you let them start it, but you go right ahead and get in there after that.
Sure, if you really want to be totally fair, you could find a chair, sit down, and fight them that way to level the playing field. Although, thats really up to you because if they are initiating this fight, they know what they are getting into…unless they are a little retarded too…but then they won’t probably remember their beating anyway. Either way, its still your call and you can just go with the flow and play it by ear.
4. …what about kicking? Can I kick them?
Look, I’m writing this piece so clearly I’m a bit of an asshole, but even I’m not sure walking up and kicking a girl in a wheelchair in the throat is such a cool thing to do. …but then again, like I said before, if they picked the fight, they knew you could use your legs coming in so if thats the case, kick away. If not, maybe just keep it to upper body.
Fair is fair. You can’t want to be treated like everyone else, not be treated differently in any way, and then take it all back when the shit goes down. You start shit, you get shit no matter what you are sitting in.
Note: I’m joking. …or am I? dun dun daaaaaaaa!
Looking for something to do on your lunch breaks at work? Check out: tv-links.co.uk and watch excellent shows like Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia…for free…right in your browser.
I have no idea how long this will last, so use it up while you can.
…Seriously watch Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia though, its probably the funniest show on TV.
Hexen Lives On OS X (and so does Heretic, Doom and others!)
Who says Macs and OS X don’t play games? Sure they don’t play some of the new ones, but I have news for you: Those new games are just rehashes of the classics. By “classics” I mean of course: Doom, Doom 2, Hexen, Heretic, and Duke Nukem. Why screw with the new when you can rock out all night playing the originals on your OS X machine.
Yup, Nukem and the boys from ID Software are all playable on your mac. How? What’s the cost? Does it suck? All these questions will be answered below on a per-game basis:
1. Duke Nukem
What you need:
You need the Duke Nukem OS X install software (get it here). If you want to play more than just the shareware map, you need the retail edition of the Duke Nukem Atomic Edition. I’ll be honest with you, I’ve had a hell of a time finding a usable ISO anywhere on the net, and if you buy it from somewhere expect to spend $20.
Cost:
Free for the shareware level, $20 bones if you want the levels and you don’t already have a disk.
How is it?:
The shareware plays nicely for the most part. There were a few hangs, but very minimal. What can I say? Its classic Duke with lame sayings and pictures of girls dancing that I’ve found are less likely to give me a chubby all these years later.
2. ID Games: Doom, Doom 2, Hexen, Heretic…
What you need:
The awesomely named Doomsday Engine. Frankly, I don’t give a shit if this software is just a crappy alarm clock and has a dock icon of an erect penis, I’m downloading anything named “Doomday Engine”. You will also need the WAD file from any of the ID games you want to play. You may still have these in a dust covered floppy box and if not, a quick torrent search will give you a rar filled with all of them…or so I’ve heard.
Cost:
Nothing really. Just the time and bandwidth you are usually using to download and view porn.
How is it?:
Is “so bitchin’ I creamed myself” too strong? Maybe a little. I had a few jitters and one game of Doom found it freezing for a split second every minute or so, but I haven’t noticed it since. Other than that, the sound, graphics and everything play as smoothly as on a Pentium 100 with 24 Mb of RAM.
Quake and others?
I’ve heard things here and there that Quake(s) can be on OS X as well, but I haven’t been able to track down any installers or front-ends as of this posting, but please leave a comment or get a hold of me if you have the goods on getting Quake or any other classic game going on OS X.
So there you have it, classic shotem-up games rockin on OS X! In fact, I played them most of the weekend and the only side effects I felt were an increased sense of awesomeness and a strong urge to kill a monster that throws fireballs with a shotgun.
…luckily for her, I have no idea where Rosie O’Donnell lives.