ESPN Screws Up the Josh Hamilton Memorial
I just watched the new montage piece ESPN put together for the passing of Josh Hancock and they managed to fuck it up the moment it started by showing a clip, not of Josh Hancock, but of Brad Thompson on the mound. I’m not even talking about a distant shot where you would have to be supremely eagle-eyed to pick it out, they showed a upward panning shot from toe to head including a close-up face shot…of Brad Thompson all while Karl Ravich was reading the short history of Josh Hancock.
Stay classy ESPN.
Here’s hoping someone catches their mistake before they post it online or show it again over the air.
Josh Hancock: 1978 – 2007
Right handed relief pitcher for the St. Louis Cardinals died early this morning after a traffic accident on Highway 40 not more than a few miles from my apartment. He will be missed as a solid go-to reliever, a nice guy and because he had the word “cock” in his name.
Damn. This sucks.
ESPN’s Coverage: “Cardinals reliever Hancock killed in car crash”
St. Louis Post Dispatch Coverage: “Cardinals reliever Hancock killed in car crash; tonight’s game postponed”
Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #61: Ashlee Simpson
This week you get Ashlee Simpson. I’m almost certain she’s still considered famous. There is no doubt that she is considered stupid though. Anyone who goes from an annoying butter-face to someone smoking hot (and probably still annoying, but who cares right, because she’s smoking hot now) and doesn’t even use her new hotness to sell records or books or calendars or special edition sexual lubricant, or whatever. Look, she, or her doctor, did a fantastic job of becoming sexy enough to get out of the shadow of her sister’s rack to do…nothing. Ta da. I know its unreasonable to think that a greek god like myself could get much hotter, but if I managed to increase in hotness in the timespan that Ashlee Simpson did, I wouldn’t be wasting my new talent going to some lame Hot 100 party like where these pictures were taken, I would be out making movies in between orgies and on weekends I would be making movies of my orgies. …wait are orgies the thing that involves lots of real girls doing me or the thing that involves lots of pictures on my computer screen, peanut butter and my neighbor’s dog? I can’t remember. Both end the same if they go well and both end in nasty bite marks if they go bad. I always get them confused.
Either way, here’s a few pictures of Ashlee humping me with her eyes. One here for easy viewing and two after the jump because I think you and me just really go great together, don’t you?
Dick in a Sketch Video
Here’s another video from Will Ferrell’s FunnyOrDie.com
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“Internet’s my favorite!”
Dora the Explorer Gets a Phone Call
Want to see the reason that Alec Baldwin fired his agents? Watch this: (Here’s the link if the video player won’t work)
According to WWTDD:
Alec Baldwin reportedly fired his agent at CAA this week because the website FunnyOrDie posted the clip above. FunnyOrDie is the creation of Adam McKay, Chris Hency and fellow CAA client Will Ferrell. Baldwin asked CAA to intervene and they didn’t, so Baldwin walked.
I really don’t see a problem with this whole thing though. I heard that Dora is a little bitch.
Some Mac Users Are Idiots Too
A guy writes an opinion piece about how Macs should be more user friendly because he was playing with software that shows the user the Unix underpinnings of OS X, something no one sees otherwise, and in the process he decided to delete the folder /usr because he’s pretty sure he already has one of those. Well guess what? When you delete the folder that Unix uses to store its vital system applications, your computer stops working. You can get it going again with a reinstall of the operating system, as he did, but the real joy of this article is this parting paragraph after he says how his Mac should have never let him do this: (emphasis mine)
Imagine if I was a novice user…yikes! Support calls, yelling, crying, and more. Woohoo! What a party. I still consider myself to be relatively new to the Mac, although I do have familiarity from yore. Nevertheless, this is not the intuitive and simple way Macs should work.
Yeah… Its tough to imagine the guy that decided he didn’t need a second /usr folder on his Mac so “What the hell?! Lets delete this.” as a novice user… Yeah, thank god you are such an advanced user! If you were any less computer skilled you would have just spent your time pounding on the top of your mac with a bone and screeching at the sky. (via Daring Fireball)
Britney Spears Discovers Time Travel!
There is no other possible explanation to how the hell Britney Spears went from this to this and now today…the picture above. Britney Spears has created a time traveling machine. Of course, she has yet to announce her invention to the world, but come on…how else do you explain this? Plus, time travel would explain the head shaving thing. You always see time travelers with shaved heads in the movies! I’m not sure if its because the molecular structure of human hair is incapable of withstanding the pressures that time travel puts on the human body or if its because dudes with shaved heads look more bad ass when then appear in a ball of white light and lots of smoke. I assumed it was the later, and if thats the case Britney took this one step too far… None of that matters though because we live in a new age of time travel and its all thanks to Britney’s fat ass…whoops! Sorry, old habits die hard.
Check out the ass on Britney! Doesn’t it look familiar? Thats right, its the same ass from the “Oops I Did It Again” video. Time travel is the shit!
Fabchannel.com Kicked My Ass Hard…and I Liked It.
I just discovered the site MFabchannel.com. Amazing. Great implementation of its one goal: Show whole, yes whole rock concerts for free.
You can scrub through each concert because they are broken in to video “tracks” for you. You can add “tracks” of each concert to your playlist. Oh yeah…you can share the concerts too, youTube-style. Here is Motion City Soundtrack:
So cool.
Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #60: Kate Beckinsale
Katie’s back everyone! Why? Because pictures worth posting start appearing on the web when she has a new movie coming out. This one, I think its called “Generic Horror Flick #8,237″, has Kate and Luke Wilson trying to stop people from killing them. Sounds awesome right? Specifically, I think the movie has something to do with snuff films and if thats the case, I give it an extra point. Which brings this movie’s total to…1 point.
The thing about snuff films is that everyone says they are “legend”, but that can’t be the case. The idea had to come from somewhere right? Not only that, but I’ll even stand up and say I’ve seen one. Ok fine, I’ve seen more than one. Catwoman and Speed 2 are my favorites. You just know by watching Catwoman that Halle Berry’s Oscar might as well be filled with chocolate because it doesn’t mean shit by the end of that movie. That scene where she took her career, slit its throat, and then had a dude in a gimp mask hump the slit until her career’s head came off and then the took turns craping in the skull? Crazy and powerfully erotic.
“Generic Horror Flick #8,237″ makes two shit movies in a row for my girl Kate (remember Click?), so unless she decides to do the old Hollywood standby and land a roll playing a retarded character with a gimpy leg and an accent, then her next film might be more about snuff films than this one.
She’ll always be hot though:
Two more after the jump because its 4/20 and these brownies someone gave me are TOTALLY FUCKING AMAZING dude!