Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #64: Petra Nemcova
And people always get so down on the 2004 tsunami…look what it did for Petra Nemcova! Before the tsunami, she was just a chick you see in a magazine ad and think “Wow. I would wreck that” and now, post-tsunami, her wikipedia page holds the record for having the most edits to the page while the editor is simultaneously holding their dick. Good for her.
I always think its weird how girls get all crazy when they think about how many dudes have probably choked the chicken thinking about them, and I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m cool with it. I know that every broad I come in to contact with during the day, whether it be the checker in the supermarket or the chick I flick off and call a fat whore in the morning on the way to work because she cut me off, goes home and diddles her snizz thinking about me and I’m 100% for it. Most chicks I know, especially the cuter ones, get all freaked out about it. To those chicks I say this: You can’t have everything princess! You not only don’t want us to grind up against you in the club or waiting in line at the bank, but you also don’t like it when we just go home a grind the bed with a print out of the picture I took of you with my cell phone placed on my pillow? Screw that. Pick the one that creeps you out the most and be pissed about that one, but a guy’s got to live his life.
In other news, there’s this weird kid on my street that keeps coming by on his scooter and hitting the buzzer button to my apartment. I’m pretty sure if I wait in the bushes to the right of the door, he’ll never see it coming. …I just said “in other news”, not “in related news”. Shut up.
Here’s the post-tsunami Petra looking like a perfectly good pillow print out.
2 more after the jump because I had my phone set on vibrate and someone just called when it was sitting on my lap. I’m in a good place now.
Evan Rachel Wood Is Totally Getting Back At Her Daddy
Deadbeat Dads that run off and leave their kids behind or stick around and treat them like crap get a bad rap these days, but seriously think about where would the world be without chicks with “Daddy Issues”? You think that stripper that ground her ass in to your junk last weekend for 15 minutes for $20 would be doing that if her Dad had stuck around and taught her how to drive? Hell no. What about that chick in college or high school that you could always count on when you struck out with the chick you really wanted? Every time she got back up from her knees you should have gotten down on yours and thanked her Dad for never coming back after going out for that pack of smokes. Oh yeah, and lets not forget about porn. Porn’s no where without those brave men that sacrifice their reputation and dare to make the world the better place by giving their daughters a heaping spoonful of “Daddy Issues”. Hell Yeah Bitch! .com salutes you gentlemen!
Take for instance the fine work that Evan Rachel Wood’s father did on her. Why do I bring up 19 year old Evan Rachel Wood? No, its not because I like typing Evan Rachel Wood, its because she is appearing in her boyfriend, Marylin Manson’s new video and they have lots of sex in it…and its apparently not acting.
According to a source close to the production crew, Manson and Wood elected not to fake their intercourse. Though their naughty bits are concealed on-screen by bedclothes and each other’s bodies, the logistics of the shoot ensured the crew members had an intimate view of the proceedings: The video was originally intended to be shot in 3-D, meaning the couple’s writhings had to be shot from several different angles simultaneously. And just to be sure they got it right, Manson and Wood got it on three times for the cameras. (via WWTDD)
Yeah, you show your mean Daddy what a slut you can be Evan Rachel Wood (I do kinda like typing it.)! He probably really didn’t care or learn his lesson though. You might want to do a couple of pornos just to be safe.
Hot Chicks With Douche Bags
As you may expect, we at Hell Yeah Bitch! .com have great love for a wacky domain name, but we really pop a “straight 90″ when we find a great site with a great domain name. Check out: Hot Chicks with Douchebags.com The site is all about… If you can’t figure it out, you are a retard.
Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #63: Jessica Simpson
I’m not sure what to think about Jessica Simpson anymore. She’s still hot right? She seems to have the same body as she did and the boobs are still kickin’, but yet I feel like she’s some how less attractive than she was all of 4 months ago. Sure I would still have no problem throwing it at her. I would still completely wreck her. I mean, I would do everything to her…and once again the next morning…but after that she’s gone. Thats truly the difference. 4 months ago, I’m doing everything I can to keep this broad in my bed. If she wanted to cheat on me with another dude all I would ask is that she keep in on her side of the bed and try their best to keep the guy’s junk from hitting me in the face while I’m sleeping. Now I’m still tapping it, but I’m letting her walk after a round or two. Its always sad when a hot chick drops down a level, but seeing “top of the food chain” type talent dropping is even more sad.
Here’s something I do know though: Skinny chicks with nice racks should wear the shirtless with blazer look more often. Its hot as hell. Don’t ask me to explain it. Its true though.
Two more after the jump because I hoping some hot chick out there will send me a picture of her shirtless wearing a blazer. I love you nameless girl of the future!
Kevin Rose to Squeeze Out Another Startup
According to Om Malik:
Business Week poster boy Kevin Rose is rumored to have teamed up with Daniel Burka also of Digg, and first time entrepreneur Leah Culver and has started a new company. Rose and Burka have worked closely on tools like Digg Spy. Burka is one of the main designers of Digg.com. Rose and Burka have worked closely for nearly two years.
Apparently the startup is to have something to do with instant messenging, but frankly who cares. Not only that, it really doesn’t even matter if the product is any good, because no matter what he does, he will have his little TechTV The Broken Revision3 Digg army of preteen script kiddies march right over and praise whatever he does. I’m not saying that Digg is lame or that Revision3 was a bad idea, all I’m saying is that it doesn’t matter. No matter how far advanced the world gets or how many more people get broadband in their home, the internet will always be run by preteen male nerds and the current set of preteen male nerds love Kevin Rose. Some day the man may be president.
What I’m really getting at is: You feel like making me a job offer Kevin? I’m good. I’ll stunt double for you if you want. Think about it.
Full disclosure: I happen to look a bit like Kevin Rose (I’ve been told) and because of this I prefer to spend at least two to three weekends a year banging chicks and stealing startup money from suckers in San Francisco. If you happen to look like Alex Albrecht please get a hold of me since I am currently in the market for a wing man on these trips. Benefits include all the free slightly chubby geek ‘poon you can handle and nothing else.
John August talks about the amazing amount of coincidences that took place in the screenplay for the sadly lame Sipderman 3, and how to avoid those pitfalls in your own writing. (via Daring Fireball)
Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #62: Jessica Alba
Throughout my years as a world famous playboy / cocksman I have pretty much learned everything there is to learn about women. For example, most of them hate the donkey punch, which of course is ironic because they never see it coming and your a long gone after they wake up. Another thing I’ve learned is that most women dislike the term “bonerific” even if it is being used to describe them. The problem with this is that “bonerific” is really the best way to describe some women. Take for instance Jessica Alba. Now try to tell me she isn’t “bonerific”. You can’t. Why? Because she’s “bonerific”. Yet, when I ran up to Jessica Alba in the street that one time with a heart drawn on my chest in lipstick and screamed at her that she was “bonerific” she got all weird. After a few seconds of me sliding from side to side so she couldn’t walk away I really thought I started to get through to her, but I’ll never know because of that cockblocking police man slammed me down to the ground right after. What a dick! I guess its true, no one appreciates true love in today’s society.
I’ll be a little late with Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #62 because I’m off to eat dinner and go see Spiderman 3. Until then, check out some news that I’ll never get to post on my own:
Colin Farrell Killed a Dude By Proxy
Fergie Is Ugly
Learn How to Open Things
Kate Bosworth is Hot Again
Check back later for the new Kate Friend!
Good article by Bob Nightengale on how the Cardinals are handling losing a teammate and close friend.