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Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #62: Jessica Alba

Throughout my years as a world famous playboy / cocksman I have pretty much learned everything there is to learn about women. For example, most of them hate the donkey punch, which of course is ironic because they never see it coming and your a long gone after they wake up. Another thing I’ve learned is that most women dislike the term “bonerific” even if it is being used to describe them. The problem with this is that “bonerific” is really the best way to describe some women. Take for instance Jessica Alba. Now try to tell me she isn’t “bonerific”. You can’t. Why? Because she’s “bonerific”. Yet, when I ran up to Jessica Alba in the street that one time with a heart drawn on my chest in lipstick and screamed at her that she was “bonerific” she got all weird. After a few seconds of me sliding from side to side so she couldn’t walk away I really thought I started to get through to her, but I’ll never know because of that cockblocking police man slammed me down to the ground right after. What a d*** ! I guess its true, no one appreciates true love in today’s society.


  • sky
    i'd throw it at her
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