Chris Angel Needs to Keep His Secrets Better
Mike Was Mistaken For Jack Black Today
So I’m in the supermarket just now and some teenage girl points at me as I walk by and says:
Girl: Is that you on your shirt?!
Mike: What?
Girl: Is that you on your shirt?
Mike: Oh. No, its Tenacious D.
Girl: Ok. Cool. [She also for some reason gave me a 'thumbs up' here.]
Being mistaken for Jack Black of course means one of two things:
1. I need to lose some weight and get a hair cut.
2. My “kick-ass quotient” has reached an all time high.
You decide.
…no, scratch that. I’ll decide for you: #2 is the answer.
In St. Louis? Come to Sky’s Going Away Party
You know Sky right? No? Who gives a shit! Stop being a pussy and come to his going away party anyway. Here’s the run down: Live bands, beer, pizza, free Red Bull, and pony rides (yeah dude…I said there will be ponies).
Feel free to leave a comments, suggestions, and any questions like “Who the hell is Sky?” below.
Ass Kicking Update:
The party will be just like the video below…but with ponies.
Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #65: Kristen Bell
There’s a reason that I’ve been so horrible to this poor bastard of a site as of late. I’ve been cheating on it. I know, I’m a fucker. …but wait. Once I tell you, faithful readers, who I’ve been cheating on Hell Yeah Bitch! .com with it will blow your fragile little mind: Another blog…a blog for women. I know what you are thinking, but I toned it down. The first post I wrote for my blog-twikie in the city was a post about the loss of my favorite show, Veronica Mars. Like I said, I toned it down, so there’s no need to post it here, but I just thought I would come clean and confess to you that I have been cheating and I’m trying to find a balance in my life to be able to give it to both of my blog bitches and keep everyone happy. Until then, I do have a related, and ON TIME, Kate Beckinsale Friend for you:
Kristen Bell! Pretty damn hot right? I figure its only a matter of time before we start hooking up. She just lost her gig at Veronica Mars…but I still bring home the bacon with my job at 7-11. We are the same age. We both constantly exude intense sexual energy. And of course, I’m assuming, we both love burning things. I called her agent to get her number and to feel her out about a Mike-Kristen hookup and she gave me some runaround crap about her having a “boyfriend” and she doesn’t “respond to threats” Bring it bitch! Once you get that first restraining order out of the way, the rest just roll off your back.
Two more pictures of my future girlfriend after the jump because I think you look sexy as hell driving down the road in your car with the windows up quietly rocking out to the Backstreet Boys techno remixes.