Hell Yeah Bitch! .com

If there was any more proof needed that the internet community is nothing more than a bunch of horny dudes, look no further than Justine…or iJustine…or that chick hugging her MacBook Pro.  This chick appears to have created herself into an internet celebrity by posting and endless stream of either nonsensical video diarrhea, re-posting on topics that have already been done, and of most importantly pulling off the trick of being a girl on the internet while not being a fatty.

Lets elaborate. 

Feel free to click the “nonsensical video diarrhea” link here or from above if you need proof of the Cleavland Steamer she drops on the poor, already soiled chest of the internet on a seemingly daily basis.  Lets not even get into her Twitter stream.  “I think I broke the internet“  Ah, brilliant.  Thanks.  Thats the kind of sharp wit that I need sent to my cell phone via SMS ASAP so I can take time to really enjoy it while in in the middle of trying to figure out how if this hooker is really 18 or if should believe the ID she just gave me that has the top right part of Captain Crunch’s face on the back.  (Editor’s Note: I ended up going with the ID.  Who knows, maybe recycling cardboard for ID’s is a new cost cutting measure…plus, what was I going to do, un-dress up like my 3rd grade teacher while banging her?)

As far as the story she “broke” a little while ago about the huge iPhone bills.  It wasn’t news.  It was just old news…in video form…done by a girl…that isn’t fat.  Sure Scoble got a boner for it, but the only surprise there is that his thank you post wasn’t followed by a long rambling video with him adjusting the camera from the front seven times while name dropping friend’s names in the tech industry (Wow!  You know THE Dave Winer!??!) and how they feel about this issue.  The fact of the matter is that I, not even owning an iPhone, had heard that story at least a week before her video broke and frankly even then it was a non-story.  You think AT&T didn’t know they were printing out that many pages for each bill?  Of course they did.  Sure its stupid, but to think this ditsy broad is, in the parlance of our times, changing the world somehow by making the 18973284732987324th Apple commercial spoof while flipping through her bill is just slightly more retarded than paying to go see Ben Stiller in another movie where he plays a lovable but goofy and uptight guy.

You are cute and own a computer.  Its rare.  We get it.  But unless we are so hard up we think that poon is the misspelling of “pwn”, we don’t need to see it all the time.

Sexy Update:  I love how the Google treats the search term “justine” so differently between a web search and an image search.  (Note: For the full effect, turn off Google’s image filter and don’t be at work when clicking on the image search)  Google issued a “No Comment” on whether their image search results reflect the company’s official stance on what Justine is actually good for.