Sweden Sounds Like A Horrible Place To Golf
Poor Bill Murry. They guy just wants to spend his time golfing and drinking not making Ghostbusters 3 or going to Jail. Too bad the damn Swedes decided to ruin his day by sending him to jail for suspicion of driving his golf cart drunk. Sure, he wasn’t exactly playing Golf at the time…and he was driving his golf cart in the middle of Stockholm…and it was 3:29 in the morning…but still. You just arrested Carl Spackler you Swedish bastards!
Maybe its one of those language barrier things…do the Swedish people not have a word for “irony” in their language?
via Perez
VMWare Fusion Kicks Parallels in the Junk and Laughs
I’ve tried both Parallels and now VMWare’s Fusion on my MacBook Pro for running Windows. Parallels is fine. VMWare is great.
Why?
For one, having a coherence / unity mode that works with expose is way more important than I thought it would be. For two, its faster to get up and running and faster when you get it up and running.
For three, its a way better name.
…
I can’t list any more reasons, because “For four” is just too stupid for even me to write jokingly.
Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #66: The Return of Kate
The site itself has been back for a few weeks now, but I wasn’t quite ready to continue our big feature “Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo”…until I saw of picture of our lovely namesake drunk and in a school girl outfit. Its doesn’t get any more perfect than that.
I’m now convinced that the only way to make these pictures more perfect is if every time I looked at them, sexy elves would appear and remove my pants while a unicorn flies by and drops a box of tissues and a bottle of lotion next to me. …and then afterward the elves would clean up and put my pants back on just in time for Morgan Freeman to walk in a hand me a meatball sub.
Why Morgan Freeman? First, because he is kick ass. Secondly, theres no reason he couldn’t do that for me you racist bastard. Who should I have gotten to hand me a meatball sub? Hugh Downs?! When was the last time Hugh Downs solved a crime with a young partner that he didn’t want and then eventually either grew to like or found out they were the real bad guy? Never. My man Morgan Freeman has done it countless times. Both you and Hugh Downs can go screw off!
Enjoy the pictures…and if you know any elves, tell them to email me for a job offer.
Three more photos of Kate after the jump just because I think you would look just as good as that blond does in that plaid skirt…and you know it too sexy!
Quick! Someone High-Five This Guy!
Nice. FYI: Most mother’s (in particular, mine) disapprove of their son calling to check in while getting blown on a yacht or any other vehicle, so keep that in mind when making in-fellatio phone calls. I don’t know if they just don’t like vehicles or what, but they get really angry when you tell them what you are doing.
Another odd sexual choice that Anne Hathaway makes: Openly kissing hairy nipples…
Brett Ratner Has A Bitchin Douche Bag Collection In His Basement
It makes me sad to think that there is someone out there that finds these zits on the ass of celebrity interesting. Everyone goes away eventually once the world stops caring and yet, these ass hats are still around, so someone must like them.
Ass Kicking Update: Who the fuck is Steve Aoki? Did they just give headphones to a homeless guy?
Yet Another Reason To Hate Paris Hilton
Paris spent all day looking at herself in a mirror and then flipping through a book filled with pictures of herself. For those of you that feeling like watching something so stupid you will probably forget something important in your life like your phone number or wife’s name aim your lookin’ balls at this video:
Since getting this video was clearly very easy, it makes me wonder why the hell has no one sniped this bitch yet? You really think a judge would send the guy that snipered Paris Hilton to jail? Hells no. In fact, do you think they cops would even bother to look for the sniper of Paris Hilton? Nope.
Look, I’m not saying someone should go out there and shoot Paris Hilton in the head with a high caliber sniper rifle, I’m just saying if that were to happen there would be a huge party at my place that would involve the following people and items: Booze, Strippers, Pudding, Glitter, 3 Trout, and John Oats.
Mike Wants To Do Naughty Things To Michelle Pfeiffer
Michelle Pfeiffer is totally old. Like way over 30. Like super-way over 30. She might even be a little older than 34, but I’m not sure since I think you have to carbon date things older than that and I haven’t gotten to that chapter yet in “My Little Summer Science Projects” book. I’m secretly hoping that the second step in carbon dating involves me sticking my wiener in the person I want to carbon date, because Michelle Pfeiffer is still hot as hell.
Once I convinced her that she should let me carbon date her I would bring her down to my lab (AKA the broom closet at my job). I of course would be in a lab coat with super tight jeans and no shirt on and she would look like this:
…but there would be half as many camera people…and she probably won’t be smiling as much. Either way I would tell her the steps of the process are 1. Get Naked 2. blah blah penis blah blah in blah blah you 3. I tell you how old you are. She would agree and then an angel would get its wings.
I don’t want to ruin the surprise on how old Michelle Pfeiffer is by making one of my uber-smart guesses that are always right, but here’s a hint. With the exception of the guy in the background that looks like a roadie for Poison, everyone else in this photo are the same age:
This Is What The Internet Is All About: Chocolate Rain
I was trying to stop posting youtube clips for a while, but this is just so kickass I couldn’t help myself. Just like I couldn’t keep myself from banging all those chicks the last time I went to the beach. Hot dudes like me, and my Chocolate Rain buddy up there, can only run from the poontang for so long…eventually it catches us.