A few months ago, I blurbed poetic about Jenna Fischer, everyone’s favorite secretary on the US version of The Office:

Just throwing this out there to see if it sticks…but I think they
need to write more episodes of the office where Pam somehow ends up
dressed like this.

…maybe I can guest star. …maybe we can somehow find out how to
make out on the show. …then maybe Lindsay Lohan comes in, and you know
she won’t be wearing a bra, and she starts joining in. Nice. …Then
maybe right when we all get naked I wake up in front of my computer
under a pile of comic books, Apple stickers and Weird Al Yankovic
albums and realize I’m a geek and not the sexy secret agent I make
myself out to be on eHarmony. A geek that suddenly as laundry to do.

Well guess who is suddenly single?!  No, not me…my girlfriend is cool…plus she thinks I run LOLcats.com not Hell Yeah Bitch! .com. The answer was Jenna Fischer!  Nice!  Here is the PR statement about it:

“We have chosen to separate. We are sorry for any pain this causes
family and friends,” says the statement. “The enthusiasm we have
expressed for each other’s lives, spirits and careers is real – we have
been each other’s cheerleader and friend during the past six years and
continue to be so now and in the future.”

The only thing out of that load of crap above was that Jenna was a “cheerleader” which means to me that she probably has some cheerleader outfit / costume that she wears around. 

Jenna, I know you are probably busy paying people to make crap up like the paragraph above for you, but next time you come home to St Louis, look me up!  I can run to my parent’s place and come back with my high school letter jacket in just over an hour.  I’m just saying…letter jackets go great with cheerleader uniforms.  So do a 5th of vodka, a large tarp and several tins of anchovies.  I’ll explain when you call.

Editor’s Note: Yeah, I had a letter jacket…which means ole Mike has run his pineapple through quite a number of ladies.