Its true according to The Beast:

9. You

Charges: You believe in freedom of speech, until someone
says something that offends you. You suddenly give a damn about border
integrity, because the automated voice system at your pharmacy asked you
to press 9 for Spanish. You cling to every scrap of bullshit you can find
to support your ludicrous belief system, and reject all empirical evidence
to the contrary. You know the difference between patriotism and nationalism
– it’s nationalism when foreigners do it. You hate anyone who seems smarter
than you. You care more about zygotes than actual people. You love to
blame people for their misfortunes, even if it means screwing yourself
over. You still think Republicans favor limited government. Your knowledge
of politics and government are dwarfed by your concern for Britney Spears’
children. You think buying Chinese goods stimulates our economy. You think
you’re going to get universal health care. You tolerate the phrase “enhanced
interrogation techniques.” You think the government is actually trying
to improve education. You think watching CNN makes you smarter. You think
two parties is enough. You can’t spell. You think $9 trillion in debt
is manageable. You believe in an afterlife for the sole reason that you
don’t want to die. You think lowering taxes raises revenue. You think
the economy’s doing well. You’re an idiot.

Exhibit A: You couldn’t get enough Anna Nicole Smith
coverage.

Sentence: A gradual decline into abject poverty as you
continue to vote against your own self-interest. Death by an easily treated
disorder that your health insurance doesn’t cover. You deserve it, chump.

Ok, I’ll admit, that if you are reading this on Hell Yeah Bitch! .com, that probably doesn’t entirely describe you, but I bet you know at least 30 people that it describes to perfection…especially if you live in Missouri.

You They suck.

Thanks to me getting my ass out of bed early and randomly coming across TechCrunch’s Hulu invite giveaway (Update: Its over.  All gone.) I got early access to NBC’s and Fox’s joint web video site Hulu

Initial impressions are that it is well done and there is lots of great content on here including tons of full episodes perfect for my usual “lunch @ my desk” work day tradition.  There doesn’t seem to be a whole lot more to the site than just clips, but I’ll give it a good look and report back for those of you that didn’t get in on the beta.

For my personal testing sake, here is an example of a embedded clip from Hulu:

So little Jamie Lynn Spears apparently isn’t Christian enough to not have unprotected pre-marital sex with her boyfriend, but is Christian enough to think abortion isn’t a good idea right here?  A 16 year old pseudo famous girl that gets knocked up from her 19 year old boyfriend has to be in the top 3 of the Perfect Times to go to Your Doctor and Ask for a Little “Vagina Vacuum” Action List right?!?!

Moving on…

Yeah yeah…she’s 16, I know…but is this broad hot or not?  Examples:

Here, I understand where the 19 year old boyfriend is coming from…

Here, I don’t.

Speaking of which, is this dude going to jail now or what?  Let me toss a little sexy highschool girl math your way:

16 < 18 ( aka Legal Age ) < 19

They don’t call it “jail bait” for nothing slick.

Ok!  This wrap up and review:
1. Dumbass should have gotten an abortion.
2. She might be hot…which when she is 16, means she isn’t nearly hot enough.
3. That dude…Captain Skeez, or whatever his name is, should be in jail because they have more proof on this guy than they did on OJ.

In case you were wondering, Britney’s official comment on the matter was “I don’t know why places say endless buffet on their sign if they don’t really mean it! What the hell y’all?! You know?”

[Image Source: Whomever Perez Hilton stole those images from. ]

…which explains my current lack of focus on this site and frankly my work.

I’m fixing things though:  I’m working late tonight to catch up and I’ll post something derogatory about someone later on today.

…then I’m going to go home and play a Rage duet with Tom Morello.