Google Apps for Domains has Sand in their Vagina and Thus Hates This Domain.

May 13th, 2008 | by Mike |

Dreamhost, our and lots of other people’s web host, recently has been pushing people to use Google Apps for Domains to run their email and get it off their loaded servers.  After reading into a bit, I decided that I would love to have the hellyeahbitch.com email pushed off to the GMail interface, mainly for their much smarter junk mail filter.  So off I virtually skipped to the Google Apps site and cheerfully signed up.  Here’s what I got:

What the hell?  How the hell can they not support my domain?  

After a little digging on some forums, I found out that Google Apps actually doesn’t “support” lots of domains.  Like any domains that include the words “yahoo”, or “msn” or any even remotely dirty words like “suck” and yes, “bitch”.  

Ok, well I guess I can see this to an extent.  Maybe they want to keep SPAM and porn off their stuff.  Thats cool, well maybe if I contact them and tell them I’m a blog thats been around for over 5 years they will understand and help me out.  I mean, I want to use their stuff so they can deliver me ads and they can make a buck!

Let me just find a contact for or an email address…

…must be here somewhere…

…hmmm.

Ah, here it is thanks to a link in the forums. (30+ emails later)

Here’s what I sent:

I am a Dreamhost user and would love to use Google Apps for my domain,
but when I try to register my domain (hellyeahbitch.com) it rejects it.
but when I try to register my domain (hellyeahbitch.com) it rejects it.
I’m assuming its because I have a semi-naughty word in my domain, but
I can assure you it belongs to my blog I have run for over 5 years and
it doesn’t contain anything obscene.

I was really looking forward to using Apps, is there anyway I can use
it with my domain?

After having to jump through a few hoops by replying to emails like “Are you super really sure you need to talk to someone and can’t just use our FAQ or forums?” I got this:

Hello Mike,

Thanks for your message.

We’ve had an overwhelming amount of interest in Google Apps, and we’re carefully considering each request. While we aren’t able to offer you an invitation at this time, we do appreciate your interest, and look forward to having you as a user in the future.

Sincerely,

Shashank
The Google Apps Team

Hmm, thats not going to cut it Shashank.  That doesn’t address my question at all.  Time for a little bitchier email:

Thank you for a bland reply that didn’t directly address my concerns.
Its unfortunate you don’t seem willing to work with me on this issue.  If
you change your mind, or if this happens to hit a human, please let me
know,
since I am still very interested in using Google Apps for my domain.

Mike Flynn
Hell Yeah Bitch! .com

Here’s what I got back:

Hello Mike,

Thanks for your reply.

We review a variety of factors for each new Google Apps signup. Based on
our review process, we feel that your domain does not meet our current
requirements.

For more information, please visit
http://www.google.com/support/a/bin/answer.py?answer=52166.

Have a great weekend!

Sincerely,

Shashank
The Google Apps Team

Well that brought Shashank to life!  Still didn’t have the balls to just come out and say that we don’t want to “support” your domain name because it has the word bitch in it, but at least I got something of an answer from them.

So Google has sand in its vagina about domain names.  Its too bad, I was looking forward to using their service but fuck em.  Could be worse…I saw a forum post from a guy that wanted to use the service but they wouldn’t let him because his domain had the word “shit” in it.  Of course the domain was in another language and it just happened to have an incidental “shit” in the middle of it, but he said Google blew him off too.

I’ll leave you with some tips on domains that Google will not “support” with their Apps for Domain:

agnosticuntilforever.com

alittlebitcheesy.com

iwanttofuckyourbitchyshiteatingfaceupandthenkickyourdickthroughyourass.com

Feel free to add your own Google-banned domain’s below! 

  1. 943 Responses to “Google Apps for Domains has Sand in their Vagina and Thus Hates This Domain.”

  2. By CraigDanger on May 13, 2008 | Reply

    IT’s too bad he could not have helped, it would have been like he helped Redeem you. Then your post could have been titled:

    “The Time Shashank Helped Mike”

    That’s be kinda kick ass.

  3. By CraigDanger on May 13, 2008 | Reply

    IT’s too bad he could not have helped, it would have been like he helped Redeem you. Then your post could have been titled:

    “The Time Shashank Helped Mike”

    That’s be kinda kick ass.

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