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This is for dan@hellyeahbitch.com.
No more: @aol.com

Is this?… is it possibly… no – can’t be. A spam message advertising Spamming Services!?! The pain of spam has become recursive – building and building on itself until all the tubes collapse under the strain!

Oh yeah – this also violates the CAN-SPAM act because that ‘No more: @aol.com’ is obviously a incomplete email address. And because that dan@hellyeahbitch.com address was mercilessly scraped off of this very website, Here’s helping the spammers spam the spammers: a whois query shows that the domain jypm.com belongs to one ‘Li Yang’ who’s email address is wo2m@tom.com. phone number is 1-363-386-6032 & fax: 1-363-386-6032.
Want that email address for Li Yang again? wo2m@tom.com
Scrape away, you jerks. wo2m@tom.com wo2m@tom.com wo2m@tom.com

10AM Conference Call

In New England

Coworker #1: Is Florida’s time zone one or two hours behind us?
Coworker #2: I’m not sure. It’s pretty far south, so probably two.

235 Promenade Street
Providence, Rhode Island

and

4PM Snack Break

In Midwest

Co-worker #1: Well do you want to eat these peeps or not?
Co-worker #2: Hell no… They are hella stale
Co-worker #1: Well. okay. I guess we’ll just have to set them on fire.

50 Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

More Random Chuck Norris Facts
And the Washington Post article that brought this golden nugget of web humor to my attention.

On the great but oddly domain-ed CNET site, news.com.com there is a nice opinion piece on the state of Massachusetts’ new edict to require all government documents to be electrically saved in the OpenDocument format as opposed to the proprietary Microsoft Office format by Daniel Geer. As far as I’m concerned on this matter, this is a move that is about as long overdue as Bart and Lisa Simpson growing another year in age. There shouldn’t be any documents that are stored in a format where someone would have to pay a third party to get software just to read a freely available document. That just doesn’t make any sense why any public organization, be it the Government or the Boy Scouts, would use the Microsoft Office as the only way to view a document. In fact, I’m not sure why people are really even talking about this and making any kind of fuss! Other than maybe questions like: Why the hell did this take so long? Why is Massachusetts only the first state to do this? and Why did we start using Office document format as the “official” one to begin with? And other press about why they would do this and any implications of the change are just foghorns announcing that writer as “most likely to be on Microsoft’s payroll.”

Ok, tangent complete. For the real point of this article, please direct your attention to the picture of Mr. Geer I pulled from CNet’s site. Are those not some rockin’ Mutton Chops? Those are some of the best, modern ‘Chops I have ever seen! I officially want to congratulate Mr. Geer on the fine sideburn creation and give him the new created Martin Van Buren award for the best Mutton Chops for the year 2005.

Congratulations Mr. Daniel Geer. You’ve earned it with your lack of shaving, and, I’m assuming, peserverance through snickering behind your back. We here at Hell Yeah Bitch! .com salute you.

Enjoy.

And kids: don’t do drugs!

Link: Calvin and Hobbes Snow Art Gallery
Via: Digg

Via Cult of Mac Blog

Yikes.

What I’m about to show you is The Single Greatest Picture Ever. You should take notice that I didn’t preface that statment with “In my opinion..” because it doesn’t need it. Although I most certainly agree with this assertion, it is not just great because of my opinion, it goes way beyond that. Some of you may be asking: Why do you say this is the Best Picture Ever? If you have seen the picture, you wouldn’t be asking that question. If you were wondering if I passed this by Esquire first, with them being the authority on declaring things like this, I did not. I don’t need Esquire for this.

Look upon it and know…the Greatest Picture Ever. (After the jump, because its not safe for work.)

After you look at The Picture, if you don’t agree with me, I demand you give your reasons in the comments along with a link to what you think is the greatest picture ever.

Via CityRag & abum

This is a pretty funny article parodying how everyone says that the St. Louis Cardinals fans are the best in the game of baseball (Which, by the way, I think we are…and the I think the Cardinals are going to take the Astros in 6 games.)

If anybody can vouch for the cuteness of Cardinals’ fans, it’s the San Diego Padres, who just completed a three-game series against St Louis. Though they were soundly defeated, the Padres said that playing at Busch stadium “was a really pleasant experience.”

“Well that was nice. Those fans sure are terrific,” said outfielder Dave Roberts. “We got our asses handed to us by the Cardinals, but the fans really had nothing to do with it. Sure, they’re loud and supportive, but intimidating? Ha, that’s funny. After playing in the Yankees-Red Sox series last year I expected at least one person in St Louis to threaten to kill me. But they didn’t. The worst thing I heard was ‘Hey Roberts! You suck compared to Jim Edmonds!’ And that was from Jim Edmonds.”

Though I realize this next statement will brand me as a geek even more than I already am, I did have one problem with the article. iPods do not run on AAA batteries (You’ll see the flub when you read the article.).

The Brushback always has some good stuff, but this one had a little hometown flavor for me so I thought I would share.

Link: The Brushback | Adorable Cardinals Fans Actually Think Theyre Intimidating

Update: I’m not sure how long The Brushback holds on to their articles, so I’m mirroring the text in the extended part of this post.

Originally from The Brushback October 11 , 2005 – Volume 2 Issue 12

Adorable Cardinals Fans Actually Think They’re Intimidating

ST LOUIS–The St Louis Cardinals have reached the second round of the National league playoffs, and the city is once again swept up in the excitement of October baseball. Local fans, armed with hand-painted signs, crazy, bright red wigs, and clever-yet-inoffensive chants will pack Busch stadium and try to rattle the underdog Houston Astros. The adorable little fan base actually believes it is capable of being intimidating.

“I can’t wait to go to the ballpark and make some noise!” said 73-year-old retiree Ethel Koslowski. “I’m gonna wear my Cardinal-red sweatshirt and bring some pom-poms and cheer with all my might—except when the Astros are up. They won’t get anything from me except the usual polite standing ovation.”

Other fans are preparing for the big showdown by drawing up quaint little posterboard signs that praise the Cardinals in a manner that utilizes the letters E, S, P, and N.

“I’ve got this one great sign I’m making up that says ‘Everyone Supports Pujols Now!’” said Timothy Newton, 12. “Did you notice how the first letters of all the words spell ‘ESPN?’ That will definitely get me on Sportscenter. I hope the Astros notice, because then they’ll wish they never messed with the Cards in the first place. Yay, Cardinals! We must protect this house!”

If anybody can vouch for the cuteness of Cardinals’ fans, it’s the San Diego Padres, who just completed a three-game series against St Louis. Though they were soundly defeated, the Padres said that playing at Busch stadium “was a really pleasant experience.”

“Well that was nice. Those fans sure are terrific,” said outfielder Dave Roberts. “We got our asses handed to us by the Cardinals, but the fans really had nothing to do with it. Sure, they’re loud and supportive, but intimidating? Ha, that’s funny. After playing in the Yankees-Red Sox series last year I expected at least one person in St Louis to threaten to kill me. But they didn’t. The worst thing I heard was ‘Hey Roberts! You suck compared to Jim Edmonds!’ And that was from Jim Edmonds.”

The Astros also played in St Louis last year and reported similar experiences. In fact, some of them enjoyed the St Louis fans so much they were envious of the Cardinals players.

“Those fans are a lot of fun. I wish I could play here,” said pitcher Roy Oswalt. “It seems like every one of them is a cute little old lady or an adorable little kid. Sometimes when I’m playing somewhere like Philly, I get batteries thrown at me. Nobody in St Louis throws batteries at you—except for that one time when I was sitting in the bullpen and I announced that my iPod was out of batteries and somebody threw me a couple AAA batteries to help me out. That was nice, especially since they went through the trouble of enclosing them in a soft, knitted cover so they wouldn’t hurt my hands when I caught them.”

Cardinals fans aren’t just polite, they’re also extremely knowledgeable. Unlike the average baseball fan, the people of St Louis appreciate the little things, like sacrifice bunts and breaking up a double play.

During the NL divisional playoff series, broadcaster Jon Miller was amazed by the fans’ deep knowledge of the game.

“And you hear now these St Louis fans showing their appreciation for that sacrifice bunt,” Miller told his partner, Joe Morgan, after Cards second basemen David Eckstein executed a perfect sacrifice. “Here in St Louis, the fans know the game and they understand the value of doing the little things to help your team win. They’re nothing like those idiots in other cities, who don’t understand that concept, and viciously boo whenever someone successfully moves a runner over. Jesus, how do those dipshits manage to dress themselves in the morning?”

So as the Cardinals prepare for their upcoming series against the Astros, they are calling on fans to bring their ‘A’ game and rattle the opposition. In reality, they all know that’s not going to happen.

“We’d love to have our fans show up and shout obscenities at the opposing players and hurl hurtful insults at them, but that’s just wishful thinking,” said manager Tony LaRussa“What’s more likely is that they’ll smile a lot, sing songs, clap their hands and act like they’re at a church social. Of course, when we go to Houston we’ll be getting all kinds of shit from the fans. They’ll be screaming and cursing like a bunch of maniacs. Too bad they play at Minute Maid park. That place couldn’t be intimidating if it was being used for a Hamas rally.”