Fat Guy in Speedo Dances; Mike Dies a Little Inside
Mike Could Read About Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards All Day
These two are the meanest ex’s ever and I love it!
First there were reports that Denise needs money even though she’s getting tons from Charlie and could make up to 25 Million because of what Charlie could make from his popular show “2 and a Half Men” [Editor's Note: Your taste in TV sucks America.]
Then there were reports that Denise wanted some of Charlie’s sperm to have another kid and then Denise released this:
Sheen branded her a liar and claimed she sent his fiancee, Brooke Mueller, an e-mail asking him for his sperm so she could have another kid.
Richards claims the e-mails sent to Mueller were fakes: “I don’t want Charlie’s prostitute-tranny-infested sperm. I have two beautiful kids. We’ll leave it at that. I am so over him. He’s the one who can’t move on. He’s disgusting and he’s hit an all-time low.”
“Last week, I sent Charlie a text message asking him if he’s going to Family Day [for daughter Sam's school] and letting him know Sam was sick with a cold,” Richards said. “His response was, ‘I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore.’ My mom died of cancer. This is what I deal with on a weekly basis.”
God I hope Charlie Sheen really responded with: “I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore.” How awesome is that? This is just me talking, but I can forgive a little Tranny-lovin’ if you have the balls to say that to someone.
What Mike Wants To See in the New iPhone 2.0 Hardware
- 3G. Enough said. I normally wouldn’t put this as high as this, but…
- I want the ability to use the iPhone as a Bluetooth modem for my MacBook Pro. I could do this with my old phone on T-Mobile! In fact, I could do a lot of cool Bluetooth tricks on my old T-Mobile phones that I can’t do with my iPhone. Like having my screen show the caller id when my phone is on silent. That was awesome! Where’s that Apple?
- Video capture support. I’ve totally fallen in love with my Flip Camera. So much so that I don’t want my iPhone to replace it like a lot of others do. I mainly would love video support for the iPhone so I can do cool stuff like Qik on there and broadcast live over the web at any given time.
- Better battery life. This one is pretty much required for all of the above features. Maybe “battery life” isn’t the way to say this, since I’m fine with charging my phone every other day or so, but it would need more juice to do all the stuff above. How about “better battery performance?”
- Better camera. In all honesty, the current 2.0 Megapixel camera in the iPhone is as good as the only other digital camera I have, but I’m always down for an upgrade.
- I guess real GPS…sure, why not.
- Louder speakers. They made the speakers a little louder with a software update, and thats great…its close now…but not enough.
- More space. A more roomy HD is pretty much standard on everything new version of a product that Apple or any company every makes, but if I didn’t list it, this would just be a Top 9 list and what the hell is that?
- A back that doesn’t dent. Yes. I dropped my iPhone a while back. It has a dent in the top right corner and a hairline crack at the bottom. The crack is fine. The dent bugs the shit out of me.
- A non-recessed headphone jack. Occasionally I would love to use my big headphones on my iPhone. Yes, I’ve seen the “adapters,” and no, I will never pay $20 for one.
Google Apps for Domains has Sand in their Vagina and Thus Hates This Domain.
Dreamhost, our and lots of other people’s web host, recently has been pushing people to use Google Apps for Domains to run their email and get it off their loaded servers. After reading into a bit, I decided that I would love to have the hellyeahbitch.com email pushed off to the GMail interface, mainly for their much smarter junk mail filter. So off I virtually skipped to the Google Apps site and cheerfully signed up. Here’s what I got:
What the hell? How the hell can they not support my domain?
After a little digging on some forums, I found out that Google Apps actually doesn’t “support” lots of domains. Like any domains that include the words “yahoo”, or “msn” or any even remotely dirty words like “suck” and yes, “bitch”.
Ok, well I guess I can see this to an extent. Maybe they want to keep SPAM and porn off their stuff. Thats cool, well maybe if I contact them and tell them I’m a blog thats been around for over 5 years they will understand and help me out. I mean, I want to use their stuff so they can deliver me ads and they can make a buck!
Let me just find a contact for or an email address…
…must be here somewhere…
…hmmm.
Ah, here it is thanks to a link in the forums. (30+ emails later)
Here’s what I sent:
I am a Dreamhost user and would love to use Google Apps for my domain,
but when I try to register my domain (hellyeahbitch.com) it rejects it.
but when I try to register my domain (hellyeahbitch.com) it rejects it.
I’m assuming its because I have a semi-naughty word in my domain, but
I can assure you it belongs to my blog I have run for over 5 years and
it doesn’t contain anything obscene.I was really looking forward to using Apps, is there anyway I can use
it with my domain?
After having to jump through a few hoops by replying to emails like “Are you super really sure you need to talk to someone and can’t just use our FAQ or forums?” I got this:
Hello Mike,
Thanks for your message.
We’ve had an overwhelming amount of interest in Google Apps, and we’re carefully considering each request. While we aren’t able to offer you an invitation at this time, we do appreciate your interest, and look forward to having you as a user in the future.
Sincerely,
Shashank
The Google Apps Team
Hmm, thats not going to cut it Shashank. That doesn’t address my question at all. Time for a little bitchier email:
Thank you for a bland reply that didn’t directly address my concerns.
Its unfortunate you don’t seem willing to work with me on this issue. If
you change your mind, or if this happens to hit a human, please let me
know,
since I am still very interested in using Google Apps for my domain.Mike Flynn
Hell Yeah Bitch! .com
Here’s what I got back:
Hello Mike,
Thanks for your reply.
We review a variety of factors for each new Google Apps signup. Based on
our review process, we feel that your domain does not meet our current
requirements.For more information, please visit
http://www.google.com/support/a/bin/answer.py?answer=52166.Have a great weekend!
Sincerely,
Shashank
The Google Apps Team
Well that brought Shashank to life! Still didn’t have the balls to just come out and say that we don’t want to “support” your domain name because it has the word bitch in it, but at least I got something of an answer from them.
So Google has sand in its vagina about domain names. Its too bad, I was looking forward to using their service but fuck em. Could be worse…I saw a forum post from a guy that wanted to use the service but they wouldn’t let him because his domain had the word “shit” in it. Of course the domain was in another language and it just happened to have an incidental “shit” in the middle of it, but he said Google blew him off too.
I’ll leave you with some tips on domains that Google will not “support” with their Apps for Domain:
agnosticuntilforever.com
alittlebitcheesy.com
iwanttofuckyourbitchyshiteatingfaceupandthenkickyourdickthroughyourass.com
Feel free to add your own Google-banned domain’s below!
Ruminations on Web TV Shows
So there is a very good chance I’ll be in some web “TV” shows in the coming weeks and I thought this would be a good time to think about this in type and throw some questions out in to the ether of the web.
Though there is clear evidence that non-tech related shows can make it on the web (see: Wine Library TV and lots of others) I haven’t yet seen any evidence that anyone that is a non-techie is getting into said shows. I wonder what it would take to get my mother to watch a show on cooking, crafts or whatever on the web on a semi-regular basis. ( I asked your mother what she would like in a web show this mother this morning but her mouth was full, so she wasn’t much help. ) I found that my wife (still kinda weird to type) turned out to like Call For Help with Leo Laporte, but it was after me making her watch a few time that she grew to like it, which makes me wonder what it would take to get a bunch of non-techies to make a point to go on to a site and look for a new episode. …or does it matter? Clearly you can do quite well with just the power of techie page views (see: revision3.org) I’ve kind of been operating on the idea that if you get the geeks, their page views will buy you time to get the non-geeks. Maybe staying the course for the video side of things is the way to go as well.
Thoughts?
Jennifer Love Hewitt is TV’s Sexiest Woman?
People dump on “Love” all the time…*cough*, but my little general is always one of the first to come (If I wasn’t a gentleman, I would have spelled that differently to be funny.) to her aide, by standing up tall and saying, look, she’s no Heidi Klum, but I’d dive in there! That being said, I just had a talk with the little dude, and he doesn’t agree with TV Guide, the “magazine” based on the back 4 pages in your local paper’s Everyday section just before the comics, in saying that Jennifer Love Hewitt is TV’s sexiest woman. What a joke! To prove it, I’ll pull out a list of 5 different chicks that are currently on TV that are hotter than Jennifer Love Hewitt:
- Kristen Bell “Heroes” (I throw this one out first, because regular Hell Yeah Bitch! .com readers knew it was coming anyway.)
- Evangeline Lilly “Lost”
- Julie Gonzalo “Eli Stone” (Ah! Threw an unknown in there didn’t I?!)
- Sophia Bush “One Tree Hill” (The wife loves this show, I love Sophia Bush.)
- Heidi Klum “Project Runway”
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- Small, crappy photo of her, but you get the point. Very cute.
