Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #52: Year One
Well, it was last minute, and I had issues encoding it to flash, and it a bit of a shit day at work, but have no fear: I have something up for the first birthday of Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale…even if its a bit late. There will be more celebration content to come, but for now, this is what we have and hopefully next week we will have the rest. For now, enjoy the look back on last year’s series of Fridays:
Watch the video: “Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo: Year One”
…you know I wouldn’t leave you hanging with just a video of old pictures! Kate’s back for the special occasion!
…plus another after the jump!
Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #26
Yes, this week it is Heidi Klum. If we were some hacky cliche wannabe funny website I would write a paragraph about how amazingly hot Heidi is and how ugly Seal, her husband, is. I’m not going to do that though. If you ask me, it no secret why chicks like Heidi fall for guys like Seal: Guys that can sing get laid. Thats it. There are no exceptions. Thats just how it works. Now, I do mean actual singing. I don’t mean singing in the sense of Disturbed, who I love and who get plenty of broads themselves I imagine, but none like Heidi. They get chicks like this, not like this:
You have to really be able to sing and sing about sappy stuff like kissing roses on a grave and then one day BAM!, you wake up and realize that you just knocked up the woman pictured above for the second time. You spring out of bed and decide to go for a walk. As you are walking, people start to notice you… “Hey Seal! Your music sucks!” you reply, “Really? Have you seen my wife?” “Hey Seal! Whats up with that crap on your face!?” “No sure what you are talking about…guess I’ve never noticed it seeing I’m always so busy banging Heidi Klum!” Its at that point you realize you have found the answer to anything. You stop in at Starbucks, get a coffee and begin to walk out. “Hey Seal! You didn’t pay for that coffee!” “Yeah, well I’m doing Heidi Klum.” [long pause] The Starbucks kid just shrugs his shoulders as you walk out. What can the kid do to the guy thats doing Heidi Klum? Nothing thats what. You see its not just the sex with that insanely hot creature above, you also get the residual joy of being able to shove it in everyone’s face. Whether or not that is as good or better than the sex itself, only Seal knows, but I do know that both will leave you with a Dead 90
On a more personal note, I must say that if you are a Heidi Klum fan, and you aren’t watching Project Runway, you are missing out. I think Heidi has never looked hotter than she does in this season and in the promos. Which is saying a lot considering she was never exactly un-hot. As always more pictures (3) after the jump.
Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #25
Suddenly the world, or at least the geeky, internet world, has gone Kristen Bell crazy! Well, maybe not the whole world…but at least the dark, damp corner of the web that this very site resides in. Take a gander at the any recent day’s referrer logs (the list of links that lead people to a site) for Hell Yeah Bitch! .com and you can see that a very large percentage of the people that come here from Google, are Google-ing for “Kristen Bell” or Kristen Bell images. Not only that, but the single biggest drain on our monthly bandwidth allowance is this picture of Kristen from a post in our pre-Kate Beckinsale Friday days: Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) Does Maxim. The top image of Ms Bell (here’s a link to the image) is seemingly being posted in every single forum on the web that has a “hot chicks” thread. So much so that I felt I needed to re-brand the image with the Hell Yeah Bitch! .com logo, just so I could at least get some value from the image being hotlinked all over the internet. I suddenly feel like I’m running a Kristen Bell fan-site. Now, granted I am a fan (how can you not love Veronica Mars?), and this is a website…but this is not a fan-site for anyone other than maybe myself. If this ever became a fansite, I think I would be legally required to move back in with my parents, gain at least 50 pounds, and constantly have a smear of some cheese-like substance on the side of my mouth at all times. This is not a fan-site for Kristen Bell.
Ok. Now who wants to see pictures of Kristen Bell and her Pulse co-star, and equally hot chick, Christina Milian, at a premiere or event or something?!
Let the hotlinking begin! For the record, I don’t want to brand these with the Hell Yeah Bitch! .com logo, but it gets extreme like that last K-Bell picture, I will.
2 more pictures after the jump!
Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #24
Wait didn’t we just see Christina Aguilera two weeks ago? Yes. Yes you did. Let me tell you a secret about that: Shut up. Let me tell you something else: I might be in love with Christina. This chick never looks frumpy. She is always hot. Of course she looks hot going out, but she also brings her a-game for daily things. I feel like if you threw Christina in a room full of decaying zombies crapping on each other while mountains of Bugles was pouring from the ceiling (What? I just think Bugles are gross.) somehow the blood, guts, poop and Bugles would magically form into an amazingly hot outfit on Christina’s body and then she would look down and a tube of red lipstick would appear there like the heaven’s aligned for her to always look hot. Of course after this divine moment in sexiness Christina would leave and take home one of the shit covered zombies because she mistook him for her husband. Don’t get me wrong, I look up to the guy because he landed Christina but seriously the guy’s kinda ugly. I’m sure he would cop to it if you asked him…and then would set his drink down and slowly look of his shoulder to see Christina bending over in some short skirt while she loads a case of condoms in to their car and then he turns back, smiles and walks off. Its almost as though he didn’t see you poison his water…
Anyway its just nice to see a celebrity that realizes that a camera is on her at all times and she wants to look hot. Mission accomplished. Maybe she should let Britney know.
Here’s Christina’s recent GQ (UK) spread. One here, two more after the jump.
Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #22
This week hurt like eight bitches in a bitch boat. I’ve been dealing with a recurring medical ailment all week (and still am), we lost internet at my office on Tuesday, St. Louis got bitch slapped by a storm on Wednesday night (My neighborhood seems to have been hit the hardest with 80+ mph winds, but I am one of the lucky ones with power, cable and internet.), Thursday once again my office was without internet access or phones, and this morning I’m going to drink a glass of water that I thought was cold, but once it hit my lips I found it to be kinda lukewarm and thats gross. All of that adds up to a pretty craptastic week. Then today when I was gearing up to post this week’s “Kate Beckinsale” post, I noticed that I had only posted one article since last Friday. I suck. Feeling like crap, getting hit by a monster storm, and drinking less than cold water is no excuse, I should have done better than that and I apologize.
I will do better. Rest assured that soon articles that you have a subtle at best interest in and that are mildly funny producing an occasional chuckle will be flowing from my fingers, through the tubes of the internet and into your eyes…unless you are blind…then I guess you have some kind of reader doohickey which I will now make read the lyrics of K-Fed epic song Popozao
In Portuguese it means bring your ass
On the floor and move it real fast
I wanna see your kitty and a little bitta titty
Wanna know where I go when I’m in your city
Girl, don’t you worry about all the dough
Cuz a cat is coming straight outta the door
Ready rock them shows all the way to Rio
Bring that Brazil booty on the floor
Up, down, all around
Work that **** to this funky sound
Wanna see what I’m gonna owe
Po, Po, Po, Po, PopoZao, PopoZao
Po, Po, Po, Po, PopoZao, PopoZao
Po, Po, Po, Po, PopoZao, PopoZao
Wasn’t that fun? Now for those of you that can see, here are a few pictures of Christina Agularasdflsdkafd (whatever) looking hot recently. For those blind people, here comes another kick in the junk: You may or may not be aware that you won’t be able to see the pics of Christina, plus I just made you listen to a screen-read version of Popozao. I’m sorry. I’m a dick.
(2 more after the jump)
Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #17
Week seventeen and we are back to good old Kate. Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo Classic if you will. Not much to say on this one. Here is Kate Beckinsale at the premiere of her new movie Click which, I’m assuming goes a little something like this: (I swear that I have not seen or heard about this movie other than commercials on TV. Lets just see how close I get.)
Adam Sandler’s character has a sad life despite the fact that he is more than likely living a larger life that most people in his “common man” line of work and married to a girl that looks a lot like Kate Beckinsale. However, on his lowest day of his life he stumbles across a magic remote control that he either finds in the street because some scientist dropped it, or he buys it from an old Chinese man in a dusty old electronics store. After he finds out the remote has magic real world altering powers we all go along on a wonderful montage of him doing funny things like speeding up, slowing down, pausing the world around him. (I feel like their might be an eject button joke in there somewhere too.) After some good hearty belly laughs, Sandler’s character finds that he doesn’t want to alter his life because he has now found that he truly loves his life and family. Which all leads us to a final scene where Sandler has to use the remote one last time to either fix the wrongs he did with the remote earlier, or stop someone evil from having the remote or maybe helping the world in general out in some way before throwing the remote off a cliff / building. But theres more…as the credits begin to roll you see some other schmuck pick the remote up and you know craziness awaits that bastard in…wait for it…Click 2: Got Any Double-As?
Anyone want to take bets on how close I got in that preview summary to what actually goes down in Click? Anyone want to go see Click for me to tell me if I was right? You think about it. While you do, here’s a picture of Kate for the front page, and there’s more when you click through to the jump.
In case you can’t tell from the yellow border on the pictures, I got them from the wonderful Just Jared. Hope you don’t mind Jared.
Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #15
(Note: I have officially added the “and Friends” in to the moniker of the weekly series of hot broad pictures. This should avoid all confusion when pictures posted are not that of Kate Beckinsale.)
Its lonely being me. I’m the only former comic book geek that hasn’t seen X-Men 3. I know I know. It just hasn’t worked out as scheduled quite yet. Its not easy being me. What makes it all a little better though is to post up pictures of Rebecca Romijin.
Ah…I feel better now. Besides everyone know the real must see superhero movie this summer is none other than Superman Returns!
No super-high res pics this week. But there two more pics after the jump.
Explaining the Kate Beckinsale Thing
Its high time I sit you all down and really explain this “Kate Beckinsale” thing. I have recieved more comments of people thinking I’m stupid because I just put Mandy Moore’s picture up under the heading “Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale Photo #14″ Listen up! I’m not stupid. I’m lazy! Let me explain…
We started off on this little lark of posting Kate Beckinsale photos on Friday and all was right in the world…for about 5 weeks. On that sixth week I kinda ran out of good photos of Mss. Beckinsale at the same time running across a great picture of Scarlett Johansson. So whats a guy to do in this situation? Well if your me, you first take a break from your busy life and do a few lines of coke off of a supermodel’s ass (No, I won’t tell you which one.) and think about it. If you Lance Armstrong, then you go outside and kick a few puppies and think about it. But either way, you end up with the simple solution: Just post up the pictures you want, but instead of telling everyone you quit the “Kate Beckinsale” thing, just keep the titles as is and keep going like nothing has changed.
See its all very simple. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale Photo #14
(Confused because this isn’t Kate Beckinsale? Click here for all your answers.)
I want to applogize to this week’s focus of our collective love because she was originally scheduled for last week. Though the upfronts for the CW were big news and we had to bump her to this week, the fact remains that Mandy Moore is still one of the cutest chicks to come out of the girl-pop movement at the turn of the century. Clearly being a week late has not hurt her looks one bit.
Call me Mandy! I’ll let you take me out to lunch so I can appolgize for the sudden bump. Please don’t bring Zach Braff though, he would just make it awkward.
As usual, click through for a few more pics.
Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale Photo #13
(Confused because this isn’t Kate Beckinsale? Click here for all your answers.)
This week the upfronts (the list of shows each network plans to carry in the fall) came out for all of the networks. I was most interested in what the bastard love-child network that sprang from the humping of the WB Network and UPN, namely The CW, had in store for the fall. All was right in the world when I got the news that my beloved Veronica Mars was, in fact, returning for a third season (I need to find out what is in that briefcase!). However, I my excitement I completly overlooked the obvious fact that this new CW network is packed with hot chicks! If it weren’t for Egotastic, it might have taken until fall before I took a solid look at the schedule and noticed the decided sexiness of this lineup!
Alexis Bledel and Kristen Bell will be heating up Tuesday nights with The Gilmore Girls followed by Veronica Mars. Wednesday nights have Tyra Banks and the girls from America’s Next Top Model followed by One Tree Hill with Hilarie Burton, Sophia Bush, and Bethany Joy Galeotti (formerly Lenz). Thursdays is staying the same as it was on The WB with Kristen Kreuk, Alison Mack and Erica Durance on Smallville…
So in celebration of both Kristen Bell getting to keep her job as Veronica Mars and the collective hottness of the rest of shows on this network (though I must confess, I will only watch Veronica Mars and Top Model) we give you a special edition of Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale Photo
Click through to see all the high-res pics!
Via Egotastic