Jenna Jameson Actually Looking Human
Jenna Jameson used to be so hot. I mean, you don’t get filled with as much dick as she has without some decent looks right? But, as I think we are all aware, lately, she’s been looking a bit rough. Check this pic (from Perez Hilton, hence the dumb drawing on it.):
Now I don’t know for sure that this picture is brand new, but she looks hump-able here right? Sure, I know where its been, but all the same she seems to be getting back to looking like her usual sexy blonde with Daddy-Issues so severe her body actually metabolizes sperm.
Evan Rachel Wood Is Totally Getting Back At Her Daddy
Deadbeat Dads that run off and leave their kids behind or stick around and treat them like crap get a bad rap these days, but seriously think about where would the world be without chicks with “Daddy Issues”? You think that stripper that ground her ass in to your junk last weekend for 15 minutes for $20 would be doing that if her Dad had stuck around and taught her how to drive? Hell no. What about that chick in college or high school that you could always count on when you struck out with the chick you really wanted? Every time she got back up from her knees you should have gotten down on yours and thanked her Dad for never coming back after going out for that pack of smokes. Oh yeah, and lets not forget about porn. Porn’s no where without those brave men that sacrifice their reputation and dare to make the world the better place by giving their daughters a heaping spoonful of “Daddy Issues”. Hell Yeah Bitch! .com salutes you gentlemen!
Take for instance the fine work that Evan Rachel Wood’s father did on her. Why do I bring up 19 year old Evan Rachel Wood? No, its not because I like typing Evan Rachel Wood, its because she is appearing in her boyfriend, Marylin Manson’s new video and they have lots of sex in it…and its apparently not acting.
According to a source close to the production crew, Manson and Wood elected not to fake their intercourse. Though their naughty bits are concealed on-screen by bedclothes and each other’s bodies, the logistics of the shoot ensured the crew members had an intimate view of the proceedings: The video was originally intended to be shot in 3-D, meaning the couple’s writhings had to be shot from several different angles simultaneously. And just to be sure they got it right, Manson and Wood got it on three times for the cameras. (via WWTDD)
Yeah, you show your mean Daddy what a slut you can be Evan Rachel Wood (I do kinda like typing it.)! He probably really didn’t care or learn his lesson though. You might want to do a couple of pornos just to be safe.
Girls Gone Showering!!: Brought to you by Geek Squad
Who would ever guess that some geeky dude that works with computers all day is actually a sex-deprived porn freak? Well Sarah Vasquez didn’t think that, and she decided to take a shower while Hao Kuo Chi was supposed to be fixing her 8 year old HP Pavilion running Windows 98. (I’m guessing on the computer, but I bet I’m close.) Apparently Hao Kuo Chi decided that the first step to defragmenting Vazquez’s hard drive was to set his camera phone up in her shower and have it secretly record video. Step two was to get caught. We now go live to some standard grey-haired guy wearing a suit on the street…
Disgusting. What a pervert…woah, wait. Hello Sarah Vasquez! Nice work Hao Kuo Chi. You gave it your best but you failed. FYI, a little white piece of tape will cover up the red “recording” dot. For a bathroom backdrop, I like to use white duct tape cut pre-cut into little squares. Now, if that is too much of a hassle, and it is sometimes, you could just go with your standard drugging. They don’t care too much about red lights when they are face down on the floor right!? High-five!
[full disclosure: I worked for Best Buy in the past, but never as a Geek Squad member]
Jenna Jameson Takes off Her Human Mask to Reveal This?
Oh Jenna Jameson, what have you done to yourself? It looks like the formally cute Jenna has signed up for the “Michael Jackson Plastic Surgery Package,” and specifically the “Make My Boobs Look Even Bigger and My Face Look Scary and Thin” Package. The weird thing is that is happened so fast. Last week I wanted to stab her with my wiener, and now I want to stab her with a wooden stake and then chop off her head so she won’t come back to life when I least expect it.
Frankly, shes a porn star so the bigger boobs are akin to a business man getting a new company car, so that I’m not so hyped about…but that face. Her face is all skinny and deflated now like she gave head to someone with a very sharp penis. In fact, I printed this picture out and showed to an old Mexican lady just so someone would fall back against the wall while clutching her chest and whispering “Dios mio!”
She used to be so cute…for a porn star I mean. Its a shame I’ll have to go from saying “I’d hit it, but I’d be sure to double-bag the general.” to “What are you crazy? I’d rather shove my dick into a bucket of razor blades and salt water!”
Kendra Jade’s Pornstar Poetry?
Pretend for a moment that you are a creepy guy that likes looking on the web for porn…I know its a stretch, but just try to play along for a moment. So say your that guy, and you go to check out former (?) pornstar Kendra Jade’s website looking for a few choice photos or at least a “demo” photo where the good stuff is blurred to get you to pay $33.99 a month to see the full picture and have some lame ass chat with her once a month which you can totally tell its probably her assistant chatting and not her. (I’m just guessing here…mom. Seriously.) So you hop on over to Kendra Jade Online and you see a few crappy pics…not bad…then you run into her poetry:
The View From Here
I have been having conversations with myself again.
Wrestling with ego and pride .Fumbling with deliberate words and illogical reason.
But words are my weapon of choice and I don’t give them to you freely.
I fornicate with them for hours before I offer them up to you as servants.
These are wars that I wage on myself.You see , my heart is a whore , and my soul is a sinner.
My mind is a labrynthe of compassion and angst and
My body ; purgatory for all that may enter .
I’d pick you apart but aren’t angels and devils all the same?
You see, there is no contempt on my mouth
but I speak in tongues so how would you decipher?Here , chew on this.
…
Your sexy feelings go away like your mom just walked in on you and you suddenly realize you are reading poetry with your manhood in your hand. How is a guy like you not snapped up yet?
Look Kendra, its great you are trying to be more than a porn star. Your poetry sucks, but seriously, good for you. However, like most hot girls you can clearly missed the entire point men find you interesting enough to go to your website and here’s a hint: It isn’t your personality or your poetry. Did you think that maybe its because you are hot and happen to hump for a living!? Nah, gotta be the poetry. The fact is dudes didn’t come to your site to learn about the “real you” they came to see you naked and find out what strip club you are going to be at this weekend. Thats all. If you want to release poetry and talk about your life then maybe you should do it on a website with your real name, not your pornstar name. This goes for all hot, non-pornstar chicks as well! Guys didn’t come over to study with you to talk about your hamster and get help in a class you have a D in…they came to hang out with you, stare at you and are hoping that just by proximity, they might be the lucky one to get laid.
Hot chicks can be so diluted.
via A Blog Soup
Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale and Friends Photo #19
Do you read Hollywood Tuna? If not you should, it a great blog. Let me tell you why they are great: Somehow, they got the hookup with Jenna Jameson! Yes, its true Jenna Jameson loves Hollywood Tuna. Bastards! I want a porn star to read this and send us pictures of her wearing out tshirt or something (I’d even spring for the shirt). Why the hell doesn’t Hell Yeah Bitch! .com have any porn-star readers? Sure, we’ve had our share of famous people drop by, but never any porn stars. At least not that I know of…maybe we do have porn star fans… nah we don’t. But I think I speak for the whole Hell Yeah Bitch! .com team (read: Dan and I) in saying that we want one. I know Jenna is “taken”, but there are lots of porn stars out there. Hell I’m sure that there’s hundreds of girls out there right now with daddy issues that are just waiting to jump themselves right on to a porn casting couch…and then more than likely cry themselves to sleep. We would of course prefer an A-Lister, but we’re not picky. If you are a pornstar and you read this site and you don’t hate it too much, drop us a line: mike {at} hellyeahbitch.com
Also, I can’t forget. Its Friday. Enjoy.
Per usual: One here, one after the jump.
Gratuitous Kate Beckinsale Photo #9
(Confused because this isn’t Kate Beckinsale? Click here for all your answers.)
You didn’t really think I was going to leave you hanging out to dry for the weekend with Topanga being the hottest chick gracing this site did you? In fact just because Topanga made up here today, I’m going a little dirtier than normal. This week I give you: Jenna Jameson! Jenna Jameson’s esquire spread to be exact. Coincidently, this also marks the first time butt-crack has appeared on Hell Yeah Bitch! and I’m going to go on record saying that I’m OK with it.
Jenna is remarkably hot, but if you ever get the chance to hit that…and lets face it, its probably better than you think…remember the words of the wise Drew: “Make sure you wear a rubber dude.” More pictures after the jump!
Pictures from Save Manny